We all want to be the absolute best person we can be, living a meaningful life, at the pinnacle of our potential, just all around flourishing. The narrative is unique to each person but despite our individual intentions, what is the attitude that will most effectively carry us to this fulfilled life?
Can you guess which approach is more effective?
Choice 1: Live with the fear that if we are nothard on ourselves, laziness will triumph. Leading us on an unmotivated downward spiral, far away from ambitions and directly to the couch in the solace company of a mint chip ice cream carton.
or
Choice 2: Love yourself fiercely and never look back.
Although there is certainly a time and place for mint chip and chill.There is no room for harsh self-criticism.
The science supports the latter…self-love.
What is Self Compassion?
Self-compassion (or self-love) is the extending of oneself’s compassion in instances of perceived inadequacy or failure.
The practice of self-love is learning to accept yourself even at your darkest times. It is knowing that you are worthy and deserving of happiness always.
*Note: Your self-worth is not related to your body image, foods you eat, fitness schedule or failures.
What self-compassion might sound like in our thoughts?
-I am worthy and deserving of all my needs.
-I am loving and accepting myself here and now.
-I am enough.
Believe self-love is a weakness that will minimize achievements?
Think again.
Motivating yourself with kindness leads to a greater sense of resilience in challenging situations and it can change your perspective, recognizing failures as opportunities to learn and grow.
Self-compassion allows us to approach failure, insecurity and mistakes with non-attachment and clarity building perseverance that results in higher achievement.
So how do you become more self-loving?…
5 ways to cultivate more self-compassion
01.Change your language// how do you speak about yourself? are you owning your awesomeness and lifting yourself up? Ditch any vocab that isn’t making you feel fantastic.
02.Quiet the Inner Critic// our thoughts become our actions. Anytime the critical inner voice chimes in, interrupt those thoughts and tell yourself how amazing you are.
03.Express Kindness//the same kindness you serve out so freely is the same kindness you should be giving to yourself. You are deserving of care and concern just like anyone else.
04.Be Mindful// recognize your shortcomings without identifying with them. You are not your mistakes. Forgive yourself, learn from it, let it go and move on.
05.Love yourself// loving yourself begins with your thoughts. Think you are the amazing kind, smart and radiant because you absolutely are. Meditate on this.. “I am worthy, I am capable, I am love.”
Let me hear you inner coach…
“ Today I will love myself enough to ________.”
Fill in the blank by sharing in comment section below…
With gratitude,
J
Sources:
Albertson, R., Neff, K.D., Shackleford-Dill K. (2014). Self-Compassion and Body Dissatisfaction in Women: A Randomized Controlled Trial of Brief Meditation Intervention. Mindfulness(6)10.
Germer, C.K., Neff, K.D,. Self-Compassion in Clinical Practice. Journal of Clinical Psychology, (69) 8, 856-867.
Neff, K. D., Hsieh, Y.-P., & Dejitterat, K. (2005). Self-compassion, Achievement Goals, and Coping with Academic Failure. Self and Identity, 4(3), 263-287.
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