“Going all in” might seem like the admirable approach to being healthy, right?
Think again. Often times this kind of “All In” mentality is short lived, since it is so rigid and impractical.
Usually this kind of thinking happens because of a desire to eat perfectly or to have the perfect body.
Maybe you are setting an expectation for yourself to eat only ‘healthy’ or ‘clean’ foods? Completely cutting out food groups like carbohydrates or fats or sweets.
The reality of this approach is that when your eating thoughts are irrational and unrealistic, eating behaviors can become extreme, even harmful. You may be deep in the realm of the “all or nothing”, “good vs bad”, or “black and white” thinking but not even realize.
What does “all or nothing thinking” sound like in the mind?
“All In” Thinking, sounds like…
-I’m going to be good and eat salad, oatmeal and no dessert
-I’m going to the gym 5 days a week
-I’m going to eat dessert or fried foods any more
“The Nothing” Thinking, sounds like…
-Today is a cheat day, I can have whatever I want but tomorrow I am going back to being good.
-It doesn’t matter what I eat now that I ate a bad food, I ruined my day. I might as well keep going with more bad food.
-I’m just going to cheat today eat whatever I want then tomorrow I’ll go back to eating good.
How to actually let go of black and white thinking? Embrace the gray.
In order to let go of this way of thinking about food and eating you need to first be aware that you even think this way.
Letting go of black and white thinking may seem like sending yourself backwards or further off your path but that is not the case.
Consider your beliefs about food. Do you have food rules? If so, breaking a rule is going to feel like you have done something wrong, which is setting yourself up to fail, binge and feel defeated.
If you’ve been black and white thinking for a long time, this mindset is not going to magically change just by reading this post. Leaving behind the “all or nothing” thinking takes time and the practice to condition the mind to form new beliefs about how you approach eating and food. Including embracing the gray area.
The “gray” may sound like that fuzzy place with little guidance but the gray is actually just the place where you have let go of the rigid food rules and allow the guidance to come from a keen listening to your body. Gray doesn’t mean give up it means be practical, take small steps with intention, consistency and kindness.
You have invested a lot of energy to maintain those rigid “all or nothing” beliefs it isn’t going to be necessarily quick or simple to see the changes manifest. Letting go of the inner stories, takes time, you may see a glimpse of what it might feel like to step into the gray area where but you won’t necessarily experience the full feeling as stable or long lasting right away. Releasing those stories lines and behaviors takes times, practice, willingness and courage but doing so brings a freeing feeling of ease is so worthwhile.
4 Steps to Embrace the Gray
- Start to notice and calling out those “all or nothing”, “good and bad”, “black and white” thoughts.
- Allow yourself the foods you have been restricting, giving your full permission to enjoy food you desire.
- Check in frequently with your thoughts especially while eating.
- Practice replacing those thoughts with a positive affirmation. (e.g. “I embrace my new positive habits.”)
Listening…
Tell me your feelings about the “all or nothing” thinking. Share a comment below!
My gratitude always,
Jamie
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